was it really an entanglement?

One of the worst things to ever do to yourself is to be welcomed into the dating game by a player

My first mgowo. 

Yeyyy (hear me shout💀), you know that mgowo that makes you sleep all day and eat one meal 

a day, yah neh. Don't judge me but the first time I actually acknowledged guys and actually gave them the time of day was probably in grade 11.

I don't wanna keep y'all here for long but you know, long story short:

I met X (not the real name). we met at a school gathering (this was like a church youth gathering, a chilled one and you could invite your friends from other schools and all. So obviously girlies would invite their guy friends too cause it was an all girl school and this was the one oppurutnity to have some testosterone on the grounds). So this youth gathering was good and all, we were feeling jesus, he was amongst us nje. By 9 pm it was done and it was time to go home. not everyone went home immediately, some kids were still waiting for the parents cause they clearly operated on african time.So during the waiting time, thats when some guys were working up their magic with some of the girls that were still there. By magic I mean they were trying to capture their numbers and some personality points in their system. Unfortunately I was one of the girls lol. I was minding my own business and then X(the guy) comes up to me and works his magic and being the girl that I was then, I obviously gave the cold shoulder for like most of the time and told him "I don't have time for guys, I'm too busy studying". Eventually my shoulder got warm lol and I gave him my number (curse you old Andiswa).

SO that happened and we spoke for a while (idk for how long) and yeah, he became the first guy I ever dated in my whole entire existence but it only lasted for like 2-3 months lol. Why?

Well another human caught my attention and well, I had to do things the right way and end things with him (through phone call, I was on some " so I like someone else, I am sorry but...", obviously the phone call was more sincere than this) so I can be with the new person (don't judge, girl was still new in the game).

Unfortunately, the new guy wasn't any better, I only realised this 3 months in or so. Typical player, old me had me thinking that he was the one, my first love cause i was really in love. I was so naive and dumb to the point where I broke up and went back to him twice, no matter how shitty he was. No goodmorning texts, never answered my calls or called me, always talking to other girls or commenting fire emojis or whatever under their pics on insta and never really bought me anything for my birthday or supported my shit the way I wanted it to be supported. He was so disrespectful to the point where he posted other huns on his status but never me and we were probably 5 or 6 months within lol. He even asked other girls to go to his grade 11 dance. (yes, I had met two guys I liked and dated in the same year, girly wasn't wasting time) but yoh the pain and depression that I went through was a lot but I still loved this human. It was a weird phase I went through but eventually my ass broke up with him on my birthday. Imagine. lost some weight and some of my sanity but we move. 

Looking back, I really was a clown shame but all that shit got me to a good place with myself that I'm in now. Theres more that happened that really got me into my self healing mode( different guys and experiences) but thats a story for another day.

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