I love you but I love me more...

I know I am not the only one that is on a journey. We all are. A journey of finding ourselves and really getting to know ourselves. Its a lifetime situation and not like a 2 year programme. These days, some of y'all be looking like you got it all sorted and I really convince myself with that, but it probably ain't like that. We all on some type of journey and have something to work on. Social media really killed the way we see things. We look like we got it sorted but we don't feel like that in reality and that's the tea. Look, I don't want to sound boring and all but I want to tells you a little something

One thing I have learnt so far is that you need people to come into your life,  even the toxic and shitty people, you need to experience them cause there are things that you learn about yourself with other people in your life, that you wouldn't be able to bring out by yourself. I am not saying you obligated to have bad people in your life but I am sure we have had our fair share of people in our lives that we just didn't like or had that one friend or boyfriend/girlfriend that just wasn't doing it for us and really was making life a drag but didn't realize that till later.

I am not that old to have experienced all types of people in my life but I felt like there was a time in my life where I got a crash course of types of possible people that I could find in this world that can be toxic or mean and just not good at all for me. It's crazy how I was able to keep them around for that long. The woke side of me wishes to punch that girl that I was. 

I had that one friend who would remind me of my downfalls and my flaws and bad decisions I've made in the past, whenever there was a disagreement we had and I had this weird way of letting it slide but at some point, I was at peak with what I could tolerate and cut them off. I had other people in my life who weren't contributing to my happiness as much but felt like keeping them around. Looking at these situations that I've been through (there's many more but I won't get into it just yet, my story times will have their own dedicated posts), I realised how big my heart could be (always seeing the good in someone) and how the love towards myself was minimum, but now, I don't know who that girl is, she in the past. The new girl is grown now and is still growing, so I don't want people to be asking about past me. 

I've learnt that a self love journey is never ending, there will be days where you feel like you ahead and days where you are like 20 steps behind again, but whats important is that you commit to yourself and also God ( don't forget him, he is your best friend for life). Don't settle for less in any type of relationship and please don't just settle in life, in general cause if you do, you will be sbwl-ing for life (if you know, you know). Keep growing and keep catching dreams and money bags but don't forget to secure yourself first before any of that. So go out and love people but remember to love yourself more and put yourself first. I look up to guys when it comes to self love, I won't lie, a guy leaves a situation that isn't helping him asap so think like a gent.